Today is a new day!!!

Today is a new day and I am hoping for the best. Taking care of my grandmother for the past year until now has given me a new look on life. It has me thinking where I want to be who I want to be with and where do I want to go from here. Life is so fragile and for the most part a lot of people take it for granted. Over the years I have learned to forgive the people who have done me wrong, for that’s the type of people they are. They hold no power over me and in the end there day will come when they will be judged and it will not be by me it will be God the only one who has the right to pass judgment. Life can be both desirable and painful.

I constantly ask myself why I have had such a struggle through life. Why do I feel like every time I get on the right path I have hurtles that I have to overcome before I can see the straight narrow path? Why is it that I do for all others ask for nothing in return and yet my life still is hard on me? Am I doing something wrong? As much as I sit and ponder about what life has given me so far the only thing I can come up with is that God gave me life he choose me to overcome these obstacles he would not put things in my path that I could not overcome somehow, he challenges me and my character and in the end it makes me stronger and wiser.  I may not be able to understand his reasoning’s behind it but I know it is a good one he gives me my strength when I am weak, his gives me faith when I have doubt, he gives me light when its dark and he is t here in my darkest hours.

It is very painful to sit here and watch my grandmother fade but I know it is not her soul it is her body that is at the end. Right now she is in between worlds one foot here and one foot there. There is that shift that occurs within a person that takes them from a mental processing of death to a true comprehension and belief in their own mortality. This is where separation begins and when that person is near they sleep and although that what we see on the outside as sleep there is a lot going on in the inside. Inside is where she is sorting out and evaluating herself and her life that she lived. I once read that words are seen as being connected with the physical life that is being left behind and that words lose their importance touch and wordlessness take on more meaning. God bless our souls!!!