Dear Grandma

As long as I can remember you were always there, you where there to pick up the pieces of a broken family. You were the one to try and hold the family together although it was a fight against gravity. So many has depended on you throughout your life you have done some amazing things.  I am grateful and blessed to have had you in my circle of life my love for you is endless. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I would move mountains for you.  You bestowed some wonderful morals and beliefs in me that I am the person I am today because of your help in raising me.  

In some sense you filled my heart with a motherly bond that I lacked with my own mother. You Grandma you were the one to fill that gap and bridge that hole in my heart.  You have done well by all your grandchildren we are so proud of who you are.

I came to you with such despise of hatefulness of my mother that you could read in my eyes, with such hurt and angry that filled my heart.  You knew my world was coming apart. You reached to me with open arms a pulled me close to keep me safe and warm.  The love I have for you is endless and it will always continue to be there.

The past year has been a journey taking you in was the best thing I have ever done. Caring for you is something I would do over and over. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. The fact of the matter is that you are my grandmother and always will be. But the past year you have been more it’s like your grandma YES but I take care of you like you were my child. With comforting you changing you bathing you feeding you taking you to doctors and taking caring of all the other things in between it is starting to hit me hard now that you are not going to be here in a physical form to much longer.

I hurt so bad inside I want to cry to let you go and let you die is a feeling I can’t explain that is inside. There is this emotion I can’t express all I feel is a bunch of emptiness. Having you here at home until your last breathe at least I know you are at peace and can rest. I promised you that I would stay by your side and here I sit and all I do is cry. To see the sadness in your eyes and hear your whispers “don’t cry” we both know what is happening and we hold each other hands in comfort you whisper you’re scared I try to keep faith that when it’s your time you gain your strength to make to journey to the next world and suffer no more in this one.  You are a fighter and have been for some time now I love you grandma I can’t seem to say that enough don’t be scared it’s going to be the end of this journey and a new beginning to another.